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DON'T PUNISH YOURSELF. DON'T LET YOUR THOUGHTS CONTROL YOU.
Life demands a lot from us. From a young age, we were taught that the best always wins and we should always strive to do things better. You can analyze some of the people around you and you'll realize that each one is looking for ways to improve their lives within their own capabilities because, of course, each person's ways are different. Each person applies what they've learned and what they think is best.
Each person will seek ways to advance on the path they find themselves. If someone doesn't have enough to eat, the first thing they'll look for is to meet their primary need for food. If someone graduates from college, they'll look for a job or venture that can cover their expenses. If someone is working for a company, they'll look for a way to climb the corporate ladder. I think you get the concept.
No matter the situation, humans will always have something to do, and they can always be better. Moving toward the evolution of beings is a commendable endeavor because it definitely requires effort from the individual; it requires moving with will and conviction, even if the results aren't instantaneous.
Surely at some point in your life, you've had the thought, "You could be better," "You could do something better." It's completely natural for humans to want to move toward evolution; in my view, it's a positive thing. What's not so positive is when those thoughts of "I could be doing this better" turn into mental self-punishment. There's a fine line between being inspired to do something better and beating yourself up for not being where you'd like to be in a specific area.
This self-punishment could begin as just a thought and become a real affliction over time if the chain of thoughts in that direction isn't stopped but instead perpetuates itself.
If you've already taken the path of perpetuating your suffering through mental self-punishment, what should you do?
Well, this is where you come in!
You, who initiated this chain of self-destructive thoughts, are the one who can change them. You can replace them with compassionate thoughts.
The first step is to become aware of your state of mind. Become aware of your thoughts. Which direction predominates?
How often do you blame yourself for things that haven't gone well?
To what or who are you comparing your results or your life?
Do you think you put more pressure on yourself than necessary?
Do you congratulate yourself when something has gone well, or do you just think it could be better?
Do you remember the last time you felt fulfilled within yourself?
It's important to ask yourself these questions so you can identify your level of self-punishment, and how demanding or compassionate you are with yourself.
Awareness is the first step to changing course. You must know where you are to know where you should move forward.
The second step is taking responsibility.
You must take responsibility for your mental state; no matter how bad it is or how much you punish yourself, you are the one who can change it. No one can get inside your mind and stop your destructive thoughts; you are the one who must do it.
Now, don't beat yourself up for mentally punishing yourself. You clicked on this blog and took the time to read this information for a reason—because you want to improve. <3
You have to be patient with yourself and understand that improving your mental state is a process. You're doing the best you can with what you've been taught. Maybe you weren't even aware of this, and now changing it will be an effort for you.
It may take time, and that's okay.
In the process of diminishing your negative thoughts, you must begin by being compassionate with yourself. Don't punish yourself when one of those thoughts crosses your mind, because you're used to it. It will take time to make the change. The important thing is to:
Become aware of it, of what's happening in your mind. If you catch yourself following a chain of self-punishing thoughts, remember that it's not what you want in your life and you're looking to change its direction.
Take responsibility. Once you identify when your mind is slipping into that self-punishment, remember that it's YOU who is responsible for replacing it with a thought of compassion. That you're doing the best you can and that you want to be on your own side.
It's not an easy path, but it will always be worth it to learn to be on your own side and not against it. 🤍
Life will be much more enjoyable for you when you learn to be your own best friend.
Don't worry if it's not done yet; you're on the right path.
I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Remember to be brave and persevere for the right reasons. I know you will achieve very positive things in your life and become the person you want to be. Just give yourself a little time.
Be patient with yourself; you're doing the best you can.
Love, Mel.
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